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posted on August 31 with 154,217 notes
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politicallyincorrectwalrus:

i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
who knows.

wow i’m so picky for an ugly person

posted on August 16 with 4,769 notes
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posted on August 16 with 1 note
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Got my hair cut

yourveins:

"you want some of my trail mix?" you mean do i want some m&ms with obstacles.

posted on August 7 with 4,108 notes
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posted on August 5 with 113,679 notes
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  • me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
  • them: no
  • me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
  • them: we're not
  • me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this

couldvebeenaprincess:

look it’s fine if ur not religious omg it’s 100% ok but once u start telling people that their prayers are worthless, that God isn’t listening, that He is imaginary, that Jesus didn’t exist, that their religious texts are garbage, etc. then you’re a piece of shit shut up

posted on August 5 with 148,082 notes
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pruderanch:

200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am

unimpressed2chainz:

(calls police) hello, some bitch is still trying to talk to me about frozen

netlfix:

legend has it theres life outside the internet

vercxce:

My internet was down for 5 minutes so i went downstairs and spoke to my family

They seem like nice people